


Surprises

by pahfoo



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Character Study, I'm sorry about the title, M/M, essentially just one long internal monologue, flint lets silver in and everyone cries, meta in fic form, of sorts, thoughts on flint and silver's conversation in s3ep10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 13:14:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6376222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pahfoo/pseuds/pahfoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Flint didn't welcome surprises anymore. That was why it was so damn infuriating that John Silver was practically a walking, endlessly talking, smirking, human surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprises

When James Flint had been a young man, with a different name and a different life, he thought he knew what the world was like. Strict, harsh, unforgiving of any attempt to bend the rules that governed it. James McGraw had known all this, he’d know where he fit in this world, what limits were imposed on him. The limits could be stretched and pushed against, but not broken. James had been surprised when Admiral Hennessey had taken him under his wing and he’d been grateful. The surprise had taken hold in his mind, carved out a small home for itself in a part of him, where it stayed and ignited in him a simmering belief that maybe the world could be a better world, could be kinder, softer, less fixated on its self imposed restrictions. 

Miranda and Thomas Hamilton had surprised him too. They had surprised him long before Thomas had breached the ever shrinking gap between them with a kiss. Thomas had surprised him with his honesty and kind frankness from their very first meeting, and Miranda’s bold refusal to adhere to the restrictions put on her by civilised society, had shocked James and threatened to shatter the remaining belief in the rules that had governed his life. Thomas had surprised him when he’d shown himself to be kinder and more gracious than James had ever expected. The Hamiltons had surprised him at every turn and each unexpected word and action had strengthened the part of him that rebelled against the rules and let him see the world a little brighter, and James had loved them for it. 

James Flint liked to pretend that that boyish part of him, able to feel wonder, able to still see good in the world, had died when his old life had been ripped away from him, but he knew that this was not quite true. 

When he and Miranda had arrived in Nassau, after leaving London, the Nassau he found was what he might have expected, and yet not quite. It had surprised him too, in small ways. Finding in Gates someone he could call friend had been an unforeseen joy, and Eleanor Guthrie had been another welcome surprise. He respected her business sense and strong will, and her foul manner had amused him. These things all added up in that part of him, that had been brought to life by Thomas and Miranda, and connected into a network of acquaintances and emotions that left him feeling something for this place, he had not thought he’d still be capable of. 

Still, it was a small broken part, almost hidden behind the walls he’d built around himself. James Flint didn’t welcome surprises anymore. That was why it was so damn infuriating that John Silver was practically a walking, endlessly talking, smirking, human surprise. 

Now, of course life on the sea was full of surprises, a storm suddenly upon you, an enemy ship spotted too late, running out of supplies faster than expected, but none of them felt as intrusive as Silver’s constant unfathomable cheerful presence at his side. 

Flint hadn’t given the new recruit a moment’s thought, until he found out that he was his thief, and promptly thereafter seen him jump right off the side of the Walrus, hitting the water with a loud splash. Had the situation been different he might have been amused, as it was he briefly noted the thief’s practical nature and then set on a swift chase after him. When they reached the shore and it became apparent that the man had taken measures to make following him directly impossible, Flint was forced to admit that their thieving new cook was in fact not an idiot. 

Since then Flint has been reminded of this fact again and again, and Silver had kept surprising him at every turn. He was surprised by Silver’s apparent constant good mood, even in the face of great danger. He didn’t understand how someone could live a life on the sea and remain so light in spirit. He was surprised by Silver’s excellent memory and non-existent cooking skills. Well, the latter was rather infuriating, since it seemed he’d gained a thieving and lying cook, who couldn’t even cook without nearly poisoning the crew. What he could do, evidently, was lie. That in itself was not much of a surprise, pirates were not known for their honesty or trustworthiness. Although, Silver claimed he had no interest being a pirate, which was really fucking ironic, considering he would not leave. But Silver’s honesty about his self-serving, lying nature was like a breath of fresh air for Flint, and he gradually found himself appreciative of it, underneath his anger at Silver.

Flint was shocked when he found out that Silver sacrificed himself for the crew, lost his leg for the crew, and didn’t appear to resent them for it. It presented the newly appointed quartermaster in a new light and Silver changed from necessary, occasionally useful, nuisance to a real part of the crew, and simultaneously a potential threat to Flint’s authority and peace of mind

Then Silver revealed his part in robbing him of the gold, and Flint felt the ground shift underneath him again and it sparked open that hidden away part of him, like nothing had in a long time. Since then practically every one of Silver’s actions has been chipping away at him and opening up that softer, happier part side of James Flint, and it terrified him.

Now every surprise presented to him in form of John Silver, shook him up and forced him to revaluate his entire world. He was astonished when Silver expressed and measure of concern for him. He was surprised by Silver’s plan to rid them of Hornigold temporarily, an idea not unlike one that he himself would have thought of, and one he thought was dumb enough that it might just work. Silver’s lack of faith in his own suggestion didn’t bother him, because he couldn’t help but feel invigorated somewhere inside of him, where he had been quietly missing someone else to propose far fetched schemes. As he yelled commands at his crew he felt a thrill of exhilaration that was more than just the usual adrenaline. This might have been a small feat in the larger war, but he obtained this victory with Silver by his side, and he allowed himself to admit how much he had missed having a partner.

Flint was acutely aware how different this partnership was from any he’d had before, Thomas had been all the good and the light in James McGraw’s world, but he was a partner that would be unable to function with the man James had become. Miranda had never been as idealistic as her husband, but Flint had always been sure that he was the one dragging her into darkness, just as he’d done with Gates. Miranda had known him fully and had never been appalled by his monstrous actions, but despite her own fury, he knew that she had wished he had been able to escape the darkness he had created. Gates had lived in that brutal wild word with him, but had never truly seen the man his captain was, and when he did, he had been shocked. So after Gates death Flint had strengthened the walls around himself, but watching Silver develop more and more into what he had become was cracking the walls he’d built around himself. When Silver told him that he sorted the business with Dobbs and recounted how he ordered a beating, Flint found himself surprised and worried at Silver embracing the darkness that he recognizes as being the same beast that lived within him too.

So there he is, cracked open, and Silver asks him to divulge the only remaining secret he has left, and Flint is taken aback by Silver’s certainty that something more, someone, was driving him. And Flint can feel the aching wound of Thomas’ death that’s never quite healed, and it feels like its constantly about to burst out through the cracks of his self-made armour. And Silver feels so close to him now, so alike him in his darkness, and Flint feels that if he is to drag his quartermaster into this war with him, it seems only right for him to know why it is all happening. 

So he tells him. He tells Silver everything, once he has started he is unable to stop. John Silver has surprised him at every turn and every surprise, every revelation has cracked him open a little more, left him yearning to let Silver in and he hated that he didn’t hate it, but now that he’s willingly torn open the last of him and let Silver in, there’s no part of him that hates it. 

As James breaks down his walls and lets Silver in, he’s momentarily left completely open and vulnerable, with no armour between Silver and that soft hopeful part of him, that has somehow survived everything. Then John Silver surprises him again, with his quiet acceptance, his concern that he may be end of James, his mention of friendship, and the surprise flames up this hope that not even the memory of Thomas’ ordeal has been able to distinguish. Flint feels the hope spread and he is both resolved and entirely unconcerned by what my come.

Silver talks and explain his choice of Dobbs and his belief in his own power, and Flint doesn’t feel fear, and he doesn’t feel vulnerable. He finds himself trusting the man opposite him and the trust builds a new wall, but this one doesn’t separate him from Silver, it brings them closer together. James McGraw has survived so much and so many, he’s sacrificed so much and he nearly lost sight of what he had done it all for, but John Silver dragged him back on his path and together they will finish what he set out to do, and then Captain Flint can finally be laid to rest.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote half of this with a fever, so I don't know what this is.


End file.
